by richard teague tinynascars@yahoo.com
Did you get that extra special gift that you where hoping for? Did you give that extra special gift to the one that deserved it? Did you eat more than you did on Thanksgiving, since there was an extra day this holiday? What with New Year’s parties and New Year’s Eve celebrations then the next Wednesdday to start all over again, it’s real tough not to stuff yourself this time of year. Were there enough treats, like cookies, fudge, and rum cake? My wife, Ann, along with our granddaughter, Jennifer, spend two or three days making things. They’ll make four or five different kinds of fudge, like white chocolate, chocolate with peppermint, or butterscotch (not on of my favorites).
Then there’s this stuff that’s like peanut butter rolled up in pure sugar that gets me so high I think I got a hold of some Columbian gold. There’s chocolate-covered cherries and cookies with rum cakes that she has to make so that she can send one to here brother, wherever he is at Christmas. Ann’s so nice that she’ll make one for me mate Pete and his wife Deb in Australia. I’ll send it to them, but it takes a while to clear Aussie customs. It should get through with only a piece or two missing. Yeah, these desserts are like landmines for a diabetic like myself, but I take a couple of extra pills and drink nothing but Diet Pepsi and it counteracts the good stuff somewhat (yeah right).
I wish I could tell y’all about my holidays and what I got and what I gave, but it’s like this: my publisher Will told me on Monday, when I turned in my article, that I had to do another soon. I didn’t think he meant this soon, so I’m writing this one before New Year’s gets here and that’s why I can’t tell you about mine, but I know it will be a nice celebration with the family and friends. Now what kind of resolutions did y’all make? I’ll tell you mine and you pick out the ones you agree with.
My first and main one was to stop smoking! Heck I’ve been smoking since I was 10-years old and this will be a tough one to keep. I ain’t ever kept it before, but there’s always a chance. How bout the D word or the E word? I really do want to Diet and Exercise, but gosh that’s hard. What about the E and R words. I know if I Eat Right, I’ll feel 10 times better, but at my age I guess the L word takes over: Laziness. I’ll make about 6 or 8 resolutions and if I can just keep 2 or 3 that will be great, as long as they’re important ones. I hope that the ones you make are good ones and that you keep them all. I’ll pray for both of us. I wonder what kind of resolutions some of them fellers in NA$CAR will make and if they will be able to keep ‘em.
Since it’s pick-on-Brian-France-month I think I’ll start with him. I got one he might make: not to change a single thing about NA$CAR this year. No rule changes, no tweaking the Chase format. And how about keeping out of the owner/sponsor relationships? Oh, I know, he did so good last year (and I hope for his sake he can keep it up this year), no more drinking and driving. Here’s one that will not really be a resolution but a sure thing: Make More Money in 2008 than in 2007! My reader Melinda calls Mr. France “Baby Brian.” Poor ol’ BB will cash in this year, ain’t no doubt about it.
Juan Pablo Montoya’s is probably resolving to take more English classes and to get his green card revalidated. I sure hope so because he’s going to be one of my drivers this year. I hope he makes one about finding a new team to drive for. Then there’s Joe and Sterling, they’re making one about tighter contracts and less fine print and to NEVER EVER stay at a Ginn Resort. Why I even made that one myself! I bet Mark Martin is working on one about seeing just how many different teams he can drive for before he really does retire. Martin Truex Jr. and Paul Menard both are doing a resolution on working with the Old Man. They really are going to learn something from him. On Mrs. E, I can’t think what she might make but it could be something on the lines of a Junior voodoo doll, oh wait, I think that was a Christmas gift, wasn’t it?
Kyle Busch will resolve to never believe or trust Richard Hendrick again, or any owner for that matter. That’s got to be his resolution. Tony Stewart’s should be to learn to speak Japanese, or at least how to say: “it needs more power or I ain’t driving it,” in Japanese. Now I know what Michael Waltrip’s will be: not to put any kind of foreign substance in the intake of his car at Daytona this year. And I know another one about no more dumb NAPA commercials with Dale and that Bubba Genie. I know Dale Jarrett is going to keep his this year, the one about only six, only six races. You know what would be weird, Rusty Wallace, Kyle Petty, Dale Jarrett and Ricky Rudd in the booth for a TV network this season. It’ll be weird in a good way. They could have guest drivers like the ones that didn’t qualify, but then Waltrip would be a regular and that ain’t no fair.
I know, these are just my ideas of resolutions some guys and gals could make, but you know they’re making some kind and who’s to say that I’m that far off? Not only these people, but NA$CAR and Kentucky Speedway should make one about resolving the dang suit. I think Bruton Smith should go on and buy the darn thing, no not Kentucky, NA$CAR!
Well, I’ll work hard on my resolutions and you hard on yours. I know we can do it together. Although Will hasn’t resolved my contract yet, when he’s in the holiday spirit I’m going to tell him: play me, pay me or (darn it) trade me! If you got something to add, you know where to send it. And ya better know by now: If it ain’t NA$CAR, It ain’t s**t! HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ALL!
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