by Brenton Crozier
The Internet is getting along quite well these days. People take classes and even earn degrees online. The web is a massive home of commerce, where you can purchase jeans, airplane tickets, organic food, homes, cars and an exhaust pipe flamethrower for your car (seriously— http://www.flamethrowers.com.au/). Now, the Internet is even a gigantic social forum, people meeting people, experts reaching out to each other and talking shop, people landing dates and even spouses, and people communicating with each other globally with the ease of a click or two.
Where I used to reach for a dictionary or encyclopedia, I now default to my computer. The Internet is truly revolutionary and is changing the way we talk to each other, do business and approach our respective social stratospheres. It has truly redefined our society. You can’t even see or hear a commercial without a website being plugged. It is in this spirit, the spirit of advancement and revolution that I bring you the following sites.
In what other day and age could such a comprehensive gallery and information bank be kept on men who look like Kenny Rogers? The photo galleries are enough to feast your eyes on for a solid twenty minutes. It’s unintentional (I hope) Kenny look-a-likes for as long as you can stand it. You’ll see Disneyland Kenny, Moonlight Beach Kenny and, of course, Papa Smurf Kenny (did you ever realize how much Papa Smurf looks like Kenny Rogers?).
A How to Look Like Kenny section and Kenny Spotting Tips section are among the highlights. You can purchase a MWLLKR T-shirt or check out the delicious corn muffin recipe!
Another modern marvel of the Internet, Modern Drunkard Magazine. They are “Standing up for your right to get falling down drunk since 1996.” These may be some of the funniest articles I’ve read since reading The Onion this morning. It could be because I’m a lush and the alcohol eases my pain . . . is that bad? Try Joints of No Return—”Bars you won’t be going back to anytime soon.” It profiles a number of bars that sounded like they would be good for some reason or another, but turned into a bad choice. For example, The Smirking Moose Brew House sounded like a good idea because they heard that they have “Like a gazillion beers on tap.” And the only good thing about the place? “You’ll never have to wonder what a Pumpkin Ass Stout tastes like again.”
Be sure to catch one of the regular columns like Wino Wisdom and Booze News. Man, this is my kind of scene . . . and the kind of scene for anyone else trying to “drink away the part of the day they cannot sleep away.”
You need a cozy place to enjoy Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers and Modern Drunkard Magazine. It’s all about good ergonomics! The PCE is all about your Personal Computing Environment. Oh how sweet surfing and gaming could be in one of these bad boys. This is like a school desk and computer desk on steroids. It does eerily resemble a dentist’s chair however.
As you can clearly see, the Internet has come a long way. I can’t even imagine the types of cool advances that I’ll be discussing with you in 10 years. Anything is possible. There may be a People That Look Like Christopher Walken website, the drunkards from Modern Drunkard Magazine may sober up or the PCE station may even go mobile. Instead of merely socializing screen-to-screen, we could get together and then talk to each other in acronyms and smiley faces.
Article Published in the 03-08 Issue of EU Jacksonville
|
