by katie veltri kjvelch@aol.com
As we progress and evolve towards more of an advanced civilization, are we becoming isolated from each other? Obviously, this is not an original query; however, it seems real communication is either smothered in sarcasm or dismissed as being emotional. What’s so wrong with emotional? It seems to have a stigma today, like the more devoid of feeling, the more evolved you are. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less intelligent, though. People who have trouble being expressive are usually the ones who are more sensitive than the ones who express what they are feeling, because they just shut themselves off. And, it’s not until someone like Oprah discusses a deep issue that we feel it is okay to talk about it with others. What I mean by “real” is the ability to express how we feel to each other, and not wash over it for fear of being pigeonholed.
You’re probably wondering why I’m discussing emotion and relationships when this is a health and fitness column. If you don’t exercise your feelings, though, you’re not really living to your fullest potential. Healthy relationships are the staple to a good life, whether it is with friends, family, or a lover. If you want to know yourself, look at your relationships with the people closest to you.
The sea is not calm all of the time. It has bouts of rage. How we interact with people that are close in our lives is so critical to how we view the world, so why not take the time to analyze our relationships? Why not try to understand the lessons, the light times, and the dark? If we choose not to understand where we came from and how we handled our relationships in the past, then we are doomed to inevitably repeat the same patterns in the future. Nobody likes monotony that much.
According to Robert Hughes, Jr., Ph.D., former Professor of human development and family studies, “The divorce rate has been climbing in every industrialized country in the world. There are two significant factors affecting the rising divorce rate in the United States and elsewhere: (1) men and women are less in need of each other for economic survival, and (2) gains made in birth control allow men and women to separate sexual activity from having children.” One has to wonder, is this because of lack of communication or because of our spoiled senses? It used to be that “love is blind.” Now, this once cute little proverb just baffles me. Love can’t be blind if we look at it as an investment. First, we need to work on ourselves. Then comes the relationship.
“Let’s face it: A 40-50% divorce rate is an epidemic. It therefore makes sense that we, as a society, would try to address this issue that so clearly affects so many men, women, and children,” says Bradford Wilcox and colleagues in their research article, Why Marriage Matters: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences. The problem is that we find it easier to cut people out than to try form a bridge. The most beautiful thing about getting to know someone is witnessing the walls come down. This takes time, patience, and effort because we have to learn to let our own walls come down.
I was watching the Food Network last night, and the well-known show host of Good Eats, Alton Brown, had some helpful advice; one is the loneliest number, so throw a dinner party. Invite some people over, crack open a bottle of wine, and put on some music. Spring is here, which is really more like summer because it’s Florida, so here is a light and quick recipe compliments of another food network star, Rachael Ray:
Ingredients: large hearts romaine lettuce; 4 large, ripe strawberries, finely chopped; 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, eyeball it; 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, eyeball it; Salt and pepper; 1/2 cup toasted sliced almonds. Cut each heart in half lengthwise, trim away core, rinse and dry. Place strawberries in a shallow bowl with vinegar and let stand 10 minutes. Whisk in extra-virgin olive oil and season the dressing with salt and pepper. Place a half-heart on each salad plate or on a large platter and dress with strawberry balsamic vinaigrette. Garnish with toasted almonds. Go to http://www.foodnetwork.com for some more colorful ideas.
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