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seen. heard. noted. and quoted.



Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
“I could have gone down that path of lowering myself to everyone else’s level and proving my innocence but all I did was fall in love with somebody madly and gave up my life for seven years...If I was a gold digger I’d be a very wealthy woman now and I’m not...The biggest insult was to Paul. It’s like saying he’s so stupid that he’d just be with somebody like that.” a teary and vindicated Heather Mills said on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. Is she kidding, when the smoke clears, she will walk away with a sizeable chunk of Paul’s billion dollar fortune.


Who’s Your Daddy Part II
Melanie Brown, a.k.a. the former Scary Spice, delivered a “completely healthy” baby girl Tuesday morning, her rep confirmed to People. Brown has said ex-boyfriend Eddie Murphy is her daughters’ father, but he has disputed that claim, indicating that he will demand paternity testing before accepting any parental responsibilities.


Star Struck
Halle Berry received the 2,333rd star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Tuesday, 10 days before the release of her upcoming film, Perfect Stranger, which, despite the misleading title, is not about cousins named Balki and Larry. Hey, Halle deserves her own block.


Punk’d Punked
Ashton Kucher recently signed with MTV for 3 Kings, a new reality game show based on a British venture by the same name, where masked contestants compete in three categories—speed, skill and pain—in attempts to challenge and dethrone a reigning king, Variety reports. Something so royally mindless should be a guaranteed hit for the network that previously brought you Jackass and Laguna Beach.


7th Heaven Goes to Hell
It looks like 7th Heaven won’t be able to put off meeting the Grim Reaper this time around. The long-running drama’s series finale scheduled for May 13, marking the second time the show has been given an end date. Last year, the CW brought the series back from the dead with a last minute pickup.


The Black Donnellys Whacked
Neither NBC’s The Black Donnellys nor Fox’s The Wedding Bells are getting a shot at a second season, as both freshman series are being yanked off the air by their respective networks, the trades report. NBC is filling the void with new reality series, The Real Wedding Crashers, debuting on Apr. 23; no word yet on Fox’s plans. Yeah, take a quality show off and replace it with a cheap ass reality show. Real smart, nitwits. They’re smoking crack at the production meetings again.


Wallace & Gromit Reborn
Aardman Features, the U.K. creators of Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run, hammered out a deal with Sony that will put the company back into the U.S. market three months after its deal with DreamWorks came to an end, following the box-office failures Flushed Away and Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit.


Mr. Universe Busted
Reigning Mr. Universe Doug Berns was arrested at a movie theater Sunday following a run-in with police who mistakenly believed the diabetic bodybuilder was intoxicated because he was disoriented by the effects of a new medication. Berns was sprayed with mace and wrestled to the floor by officers who were summoned to the theater by a security guard. Despite the misunderstanding, he was still charged with misdemeanor assault and resisting arrest.


Texas Shoot ‘Em
Police issued arrest warrants for country singer Billy Joe Shaver after he shot and wounded a man outside a Texas bar in self-defense Saturday night, his attorney said. The singer reportedly attempted to turn himself in Monday night, but was not arrested because police did not have a record of the warrants.

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