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entertaining u newspaper: your monthly guide to entertainment
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by brenton crozier
The EU has decided that it is a fine time to better yourself. Because face it, you’re probably a pretty lousy person. Don’t take it personally. There are a number of principled avenues to take in the journey of bettering yourself, along with a handful of easier token tactics. Charitable work, religious exploration, regular exercise and healthy eating are all ways to ensure steady progression in your journey. For my part, I try to incorporate more History and Discover Channel programs into my television regimen and be a little more polite when turning down a homeless person soliciting me for a handout.
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Perhaps the most important aspect of personal edification is giving over to the professionals; the motivational speakers. These people change lives for a living. Something about a headset microphone and cliché audio-visual techniques are simply inspiring, when done professionally that is. I searched long and hard to find the cream of the crop, forgoing the usual Zig Zeiglers and Joel Osteens to bring you the talented underbelly of this trade. So go ahead, EU readers, take a step to making your lives better—with the most constructive tool of them all, the Internet.
You will never accuse Buck Foley of being an original. Adapted from the departed Chris Farley’s Saturday Night Live character Matt Foley, Buck is taking the shtick and running with it. Well probably not running per se, more of a fast-paced and likely sweat-inducing walk. It’s quite inventive really. Entrepreneurs should take note, as there is potential to turn a number of beloved sketch show characters into professional motivational speakers. Show your organization or group how important inspiring them really is, send the decade old sketch show character to turn their spark into full blown fire.
Magicians are no longer relegated to birthday parties or as the warm-up act to the warm-up act in comedy clubs. Gary Wollin is bringing the magic to motivate your professional sales team! With rave reviews like the one from the National Sales Manager of Toyota Motor Sales stating, “I’m sure you put a great deal of time into learning about TOYOTA,” who wouldn’t want this guy to get the crew all jazzed up and selling? Be sure to watch his incredible promo video. Carrot Top doesn’t have anything on this guy when it comes to props. Watch out, the puns are a mile-a-minute, and they are spectacular.
Kathy Roberts is a “Lifetime Drug-Free World Champion Powerlifter/Motivational Speaker.” Kathy may not have that cut, muscle-bulging look, but she got there without steroids. She will put on a powerlifting display and may even help you move heavy furniture if you need her to. The television-time loving members of Congress need to get Kathy into the Major League Baseball offices, so they can focus on something other than Roger Clemens. Please, please, whatever you do, don’t miss Kathy’s favorite quotes and thoughts in the “Practice with Kathy” section of the website. She drops life-changing gems like “Holding your bitterness is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”
Time to get wacky with Debbie Leifer! Sorry Gary, Debbie is pulling out the stops with magic, comedy and mind reading and was apparently called a “Very talented young lady” by President George Bush. Debbie brings her dated look and stunning sequin jacket to reward your employees and clients with “classy, customized meeting magic.” From cocktail parties to corporate events, Debbie will delight, charm and motivate the audience like nobody’s business.
You could almost skip all of the hard work that goes into bettering yourself with this dynamic lot. I’ve just had a little taste and feel stimulated already! Volunteer work, healthy living and good time religion may give you long-term progress and real enlightenment, but never discount the truly trivial and sweet short-term satisfaction of the Internet.
Article Published in the April 2008 Issue of EU Jacksonville
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