by troy spurlin
You know when you reach that “point” after a few good dates, a few good rolls in the hay, and a few good laughs; you have to throw on the brakes and think about whether you want to keep seeing the other person? Well, when you are working together on decorating a home, it is the same way. Yeah, it’s time for us to evaluate the progress. So let’s take a minute and think through what we have accomplished in the last three months. We have a badass rug (wooly bully), a sophisticated mid-century walnut credenza, and a coffee table that’s as smooth as Remy Martin. It all sounds great. So, what are we missing? I know you are not a talker...and there are two words I’ve been wanting to say to you for a long time: Sofa and Bar!
Let’s start with finding us a sofa, or keeping the one you have if it sounds like the sofa I’m describing. You know me, it can’t be just any sofa. It won’t have round arms, nor will it have a high back, or a skirt for god-sakes! But most importantly, it will not be over-stuffed (that includes the marshmallow puff in black Pleather, you know the one!). It will, however, be the most comfortable, the most tailored, the most “I wanna lay you down and love you all night long” sofa you have ever seen. “Swell, decorator guy.... tell us more!”
I believe that a proper sofa for a guy like us is approximately 86 inches in length. It gives enough room for you to stretch all the way out plus a little extra so that the other person can sit comfortably and rub your feet. Or vice versa, we’re good guys. The depth is important. We want enough room so that we can spoon during a flick. With this in mind, I recommend a seat depth of 35 inches. Don’t go less than 23 inches. You will never be comfortable.
The style needs to be right. It needs to be rectangular with square arms, preferably three seat cushions with three pillow backs (not the kind that are stiched on). We want it in leather (I would only go with brown) but if you find a cool nubby fabric or velvet (velvet is sweeeet and there are a number of them to found in the local thrift stores) with no pattern in a solid color (black, gray, beige, white) that will be fine too. Just make sure that they are zippered and can be washed or dry-cleaned. We like to party in our pad!
The back of the sofa needs to be low (sometimes we like to come in from the other side). A good seat back height is 24 to 27 inches. And finally, a tough one: the legs. The legs on our sofa need to be square or cylindrical and made of wood (stained or painted black) or stainless steel. They need to be low profile and sleek. No one likes those big, round, fat legs! Unless you are doing shabby chic! And if you are, stop reading this right now and just turn in your balls.
With that being said, I need a drink. A very cold, shaken hard, very dirty Kettel One martini with three olives on the rocks. And while we are talking about liquor, what is up with liquor bottles grouped on the counter? More to the point, no more liquor bottles grouped on the countertop man! What we need is a bar! We need something swank. Somewhere we can display our liquor, barware, glasses, and napkins that all together say, “Can I offer you a cocktail?”
There are two ways to go here, men; both equally as appealing. One, the old-fashioned, “couple of bar stools” kind of bar and the other, a bar cart. I have the latter. It’s 70s, it’s lucite, and I found it on craigslist. But they are all over the place and they are inexpensive (Encore Decor, The Consignment Barn, and Hubbard House Thrift House all get them in from time to time). Expect to pay less than 100 bucks.
I like the bar cart opposed to the stationary bar because it’s just that, a cart. I can roll it wherever I want to serve drinks: the living room, the patio/balcony, or the bathroom. Versatile. And at 37 inches long x 19 inches wide x 27 inches high, it’s great in a little apartment or a big house/ loft. It is acceptable in lucite, danish teak, walnut, or chrome. No black wrought iron and definitely no maple or honey stained woods. Don’t even look at one that has any curves or spirals – that’s what the old bridge playing Grandmothers have and we certainly don’t want that.
A stationary standup bar with matching bar stools is also a viable option. I think they are way cool and I would love to have one, but I don’t see them often in thrift or consignment stores, so I am not sure where old bars like this go to die. If you have enough space for this piece, then I would begin my search on craigslist and also put in a quick call to Kelly Langford at Encore Decor and tell him exactly what you are looking for. Regardless, in your search, look for ones made of Danish teak (older “ScanDesign”), walnut veneer, or black laminate. Don’t even glance at something made of oak.
We want the design of the bar to complement the other pieces we have worked so hard to find, so choose carefully! A couple of words on the stools: Comfortable (what is up with those bar stools that don’t have a back?), vinyl/leather (they can be wiped), and finally “chromed” (reflection is always good).
With the sofa in place and the bar cart stocked, let’s have a group over to the pad for martinis. Make sure the bathroom has been bleached (clean it as hard as you can and then, when you are done, Windex the whole bathroom down for one final wipe), hit iTunes for some new sounds (space age is good), make a pitcher of ‘tinis and bask in the fruits of our labor. Yeah, I think we have a good thing going. Oh, and if the bathroom thing sounds like I am suffering from O.C.D., I am. Regardless, the ladies likey...
“Notes from the Bachelor Pad” is a continuing article courtesy of troyspurlin INTERIORS. Spurlin has worked for interior decorator Joe Nye in Los Angeles and while employed at MOCA Jacksonville sidelined doing exterior and interior work throughout Jacksonville.Find him online at troyspurlin.com.
Article Published in the April 2008 Issue of EU Jacksonville
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