by rick grant rickgrant01@comcast.net
D- PG-13 107 min
The fact that Jamie Kennedy is repeatedly cast in a long string of movies despite his inability to act is one of the most inexplicable mysteries of filmdom. Undoubtedly, Kickin It Old Skool is Jamie’s worst film to date. He portrays Justin Schumacher, a break-dancer back in the 1980s, who hits his head doing a stunt and slips into a coma for twenty years. When he wakes up, he reorganizes his old break-dancing team called Funky Fresh Boyz to enter a contest to win ten grand to help pay his medical bills.
Now in his thirties, Justin has grown up physically, but mentally he is still a teenager trying to cope with the modern world of cell phones, iPods, Blackberries, and Wiis. When he is finally able to walk (his muscles had atrophied), he meets his old girlfriend, Jen (Maria Menounos). She is now a dance instructor, and coincidently, the host of the dance contest.
Of course, the fact that the scenario is hopelessly predicable is the least of its flaws. The wooden acting, cheesy lighting, and excruciatingly poor direction by Harvey Glazer render the film unwatchable. The urge to walk out was very strong, but I wanted to give it a fair shake and stuck it out to the bitter end. Alas, it never improved.
Guest appearances by David Hasselhoff and Emmanuel Lewis offer only cheap thrills that reference the 1980s. Even Hasselhoff’s car from his ancient series doesn’t liven up this clunker. Of course, Jen has moved on to a more sophisticated guy with whom she plans to tie the knot. However, she is infatuated by Justin’s child-like honesty, as opposed to her controlling boyfriend. Justin has no idea how to romance a woman, so he asks his buddies for help. Since they are a bunch of losers, they can’t really help him.
As the story builds momentum to the dance contest, viewers will at least look forward to the excitement of the hip-hop dances. Wrong! The dancing is faked by professional dancers made up to look like the actors. The jerky camera work is designed to hide that fact, but it only emphasizes it. It’s not even up to modern standards of Crump and hip-hop styles.
The film is similar to Jamie’s 2003 vehicle Malibu’s Most Wanted, about a wannabe white rapper. The truth is: Jamie Kennedy just can’t deliver a believable character. His awkward attempts at dancing are pathetic. Finally, he has a love scene with Jen and he acts like a complete idiot. She sees that it can’t work between them because of the huge gap in maturity level, so she goes back to her jerky boyfriend.
If being highly flawed wasn’t enough to turn off audiences, the scenario has jokes about racial stereotypes and a homeless man as the lead dancer. He passes-out and pees all over the place. There’s a barf scene with a mentally challenged person. Clearly, the script was on a 12-year-old level.
Jamie has been marginally funny on his Jamie Kennedy Experiment show, but his showcase films have bombed. Why then does he still have a film career when there are legions of talented young actors and comics lining up for roles? More significantly, how did this load of dung get greenlighted in the first place?
The truth is: There is no explanation for a film so intrinsically bad being produced. Some people like Jamie Kennedy have a certain amount of clout and can proffer deals. However, if the box office numbers are below expectations, then Jamie has a limited amount of times to fail. I think his time has run out.
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