by johnny st. thomas
I always thought of working out as a distraction for squares. The person I imagine talking about “going to the gym” has a good boy haircut, a brand new Volkswagen or Cooper Mini, and gravitates toward turtleneck shirts when the weather is right. Maybe even a turtleneck with blazer, if he’s going on a date.
When I was young (and skinny) I always assumed that if I started to gain weight, I would just have to adjust how I ate. You should eat as much fat as your regular activities burn off, right? After I turned twenty-five, I noticed that I was thickening up. I don’t know if it had to do with making more money, thus eating out more, or just having a more regular schedule that accommodated three square meals a day. But my activities were about the same. Without really noticing, my weight had surpassed my activity level. Now at thirty-three-years old, I hadn’t been to see a doctor in more than five years; it’s about time I started acting like an adult and got on some prescription medications!
After reading all of the beneficial information in the Heart Health issue of this very publication, I went to the doctor and had my blood work done. Dr. Dang (my new physician) informed me that my cholesterol was high (over 300) and prescribed a change of diet and regular exercise. He wanted me to become a square. This is a major part of the formula. What next, would Dr. Dang prescribe driving a Hummer and hanging out at Twisted Martini?
He recommended I do some research and craft a diet for myself that is high in fiber and Omega-3 Fatty Acids and reduce the amount of high cholesterol foods I eat. This is a challenge since there are few things I love more than meat, eggs, butter and cheese (except for fried meat, eggs fried in butter and deep-fried cheese). I was going to need some expertise.
I called the YMCA in my neighborhood (Yates Family YMCA on Riverside Avenue) and scheduled an appointment with their Registered Dietician, Kerri. She sat down with me in her office and we talked about my eating habits, calculated how many calories my body burns at rest and talked about the ideal weight for my age.
Here is a general formula that Kerri gave me for figuring out your Body Mass Index (BMI):
Your weight (pounds) divided by your height (inches) divided by your height (inches) again, multiplied by 703. Example: 125/62/62X703= 22.8
To determine Ideal Body Weight for men: You have a base of 106. For every inch over 5 feet you add 6 pounds, and then I take 10 percent either way to get a range. So if you are 5’10” then your IBW would be 166 pounds with a range of 150 - 182.
At six-foot-three and 233 pounds, I am far from what I think of as obese, but according to my body mass index, I am borderline. 12 – 20% is ideal. 25 – 30% is overweight. Over 30% is obese. I’m at roughly 29%.
The equation she used to estimate my resting metabolism (the number of calories you burn at rest) is called the Mifflin St. Jeor Equation:
Female: [9.99 x weight (kg)___ ] + [6.25 x height (cm)____] – [4.92 x age___] - 161 =____
Male: [9.99 x weight (kg)____] + [6.25 x height (cm)____] – [4.92 x age___] +5 =________
Trying not to completely sell out to squaredom, I suggested that instead of driving to Burrito Gallery for a night of bourbon and ginger ales, I could ride my bike downtown and burn up all the calories that I would be drinking. Kerri then told me that biking for an hour burns about 600 calories. My regular bourbon with ginger ale intake is about 3000 calories a week. And that’s just my drinking alone, never mind my love for JL Trents’ fried fish dinners. Getting enough exercise was certain to be a challenge. It also looked like I’ll have to switch to a much squarer drink – Scotch and water should be a good (ie. not-too-square) substitute.
To get a better idea of my situation and how Kerri can help me focus on creating new, better eating habits, she recommended I meet with Dave, the Wellness Director at the Yates Family YMCA and take advantage of their Tanita Body Composition Analyzer. Dave responded to my call right away and set up an initial consultation with me. The first part of the consultation was to talk to me about my goals. The second part was to assess my physical condition at the starting point.
Since Kerri’s formulas only provide a rough estimate, the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer should do a more accurate job of determining my precise body fat, as it takes into consideration muscle mass. This test is far more comfortable (and less awkward) than the traditional pinching of the fat with calipers. Here were my results:
BMI: 28.4 (Kerri’s estimate was impressively close)
FAT%: 21 (“desirable range” is between 8 and 20%, making me “undesirable.”)
FAT MASS: 49.01 lbs (I think I’ve been called Fat Mass before, but I never knew what they were talking about.)
My body burns 2,270 calories a day at rest, which means that according to my original strategy, I would be my ideal weight if that is all of the calories I took in. As it turns out, after analyzing the way I eat, I have my work cut out for me. Because I am a fairly healthy eater that stays away from fast food and usually drinks either water or black coffee, my current situation is not likely to improve without incorporating exercise. But exercise isn’t square. Riding my bike or walking places instead of driving isn’t square. But the problem is that I know that I need someone to help me set realistic, attainable goals and then hold me to them. Dave said he could set me up with a trainer that will do just that. All it means is that I will have to start going to the gym and perhaps periodically break into tears like the contestants of The Biggest Loser.
This complex organism that I drive around all day will absolutely start to break down early if I don’t do something now. If my choices are to become a square and start spending some time in the gym or having to tear down my house to get my bloated 500 pound corpse out of my television room, I’ll pick the former every time. I’ll have to put some Olivia Newton-John on my iPod and just embrace the squaredom.
Article Published in the May 2008 Issue of EU Jacksonville
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