by kellie abrahamson kabrahamson1@aol.com
It’s the beginning of a new school year, and many First Coast kids will be joining their school’s football, basketball and baseball teams. That means moms and dads will soon have to juggle their schedules to go to games, help with fundraisers and attend other team functions on top of all their other responsibilities. As if life isn’t stressful enough! Most parents can handle their hectic lives, but some let the stress get to them at the worst possible time: their kid’s games.
Coined “sports rage,” this out-of-control behavior seems to be on the rise, with new stories of parents going wild at Little League games and soccer matches popping up every couple of months. One of the most famous cases happened in 2000, when one father beat another father to death during their children’s hockey practice. Ironically, they were fighting over the fact that practice was getting too rough. This July, a Virginia soccer mom attacked a 14-year old female referee, her father and an undercover police officer after the ref made what she considered a bad call during an “under-8” boys soccer match. A couple years ago, two Salt Lake City women were charged with using an umbrella, a stroller and their fists to beat another mother to the point of unconsciousness after a youth baseball game. Much, much closer to home, an Orange Park dad confronted a referee and shoved him to the ground during a soccer game in 2003. He was banned from all extracurricular activities involving Orange Park High for at least one year. He got off easy, particularly since many states have instituted new laws to punish sports fans that go to extremes.
The National Association of Sports Officials claims it gets more than 100 reports annually that involve physical contact between coaches, players, fans and officials, and they suspect that those reports are just the tip of the iceberg. There could be a number of reasons why parents are losing it during their kid’s games. People who are naturally competitive may let their desire for their child to win cloud their judgment. Others may simply be overly stressed out and see sporting events as a way to get out their frustrations and take it too far. In any case, it’s important for you (to avoid jail time), your child (to avoid embarrassment) and their team (to avoid having to forfeit the game) to keep it under control. Here are a few things to keep in mind before taking your place in the bleachers:
Remember why your kid is there- Chances are your child plays sports because it’s fun, not because at the end of the year they get a plastic trophy. Losing sucks, but most kids are able to get over the loss in no time. If it’s not that big a deal to them, why let it get to you? It’s also important to remember that your child will look to you to know how to react to a loss. Is blowing your top really setting the best example?
Communicate- Many of the sports rage horror stories feature parents attacking coaches for benching their child. Before the season officially gets under way, try to get to know your child’s coach and his or her coaching style. If you know that Mr. Coach likes to give all the kids a chance to play, you wont be surprised when little Johnny has to sit out an inning.
Respect the guy with the whistle- Referees are there to make the game fair, but they’re also human and can make mistakes. We’ve all yelled at the TV when a ref makes a bad call during a Jaguars game, but swearing, screaming and jumping up and down on the sidelines of your kid’s soccer game is unacceptable behavior and embarrassing for your little player. If you see a bad call, bite your tongue, count to ten and let it go. A simple mistake is no reason to ruin the day for everyone.
Be willing to bench yourself- If you’re just one of those people who get too wrapped up in games and tend to go overboard, take one for the team and stay at home. Your child wants you there, but not if you’re going to take it too seriously. It is, after all, just a game.
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