by brenton crozier
The EU’s theme of drinking this week caused me to brainstorm on the subject of alcohol. I proceeded to brood over the inhibitions we are willing to let go and the things that we are willing to subject ourselves to once we have consumed an adult beverage or two. After looking for sites exploring the free beer phenomenon and zany drinking stories, which produced a number of ridiculously bad blogs, it hit me. When you go out drinking, what is that one thing that always seems to be waiting for you at the bar besides a sleazy jerk with a bad pickup line? That’s right, a horrible bar band!
Bar bands are often comprised of weekend warriors (dudes that shed their weekday corporate gigs to be rock-n-roll; you will normally find this type playing Eddie Money and Eagles songs with the occasional original that everyone really dreads), young cover bands or, if you’re lucky, a tribute band. A tribute band can sometimes be a bit creepy, sometimes funny and sometimes interesting in that “I can’t believe those dudes spent that much time getting that down” type of way, but they are always given more credence than they deserve if you have consumed large amounts of libations. Anyhow, my search into the world of cover and tribute bands led me down some pretty hilarious and often sad roads, but none more magical than that of the mini KISS war.
They are the “First & Hottest Littlest Kiss Tribute Band in the World.” As told by Joey Fatale the creator and owner of Mini Kiss, the band was born on September 1st, 1996. While putting away his vinyl records, he came across Alive!, Kiss’s pivotal album. This was the divine inspiration he needed to go forward and give the world Mini Kiss. The site is quite interesting with Joey’s stirring biography and the photo gallery that contains images sure to haunt any child’s dreams. Although a little people KISS tribute band should have been enough in itself, I mused over the line that Joey tries to pass off as “flattery.” He writes, “I even have copy cats now!! To me, imitation is the best form of flattery.” Nice try Mr. Fatale, I sensed the hostility and was implored to search further.
Not the catchiest URL, but we are getting to the heart of the story people! The Los Angeles Times (can you believe they actually occupied a reporter with this?) reports that Joey Fatale tried to “sneak past security at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas to confront a rival band leader, 4-foot ‘Little’ Tim Loomis of TINY KISS, for allegedly ripping off his idea for such a group.”
Flattered are we Mr. Fatale? I didn’t think so. Please, please, read this article. I haven’t laughed this hard since the stunning break up of Lesbian Aerosmith or All Indian Rolling Stones. Anyhow, Loomis apparently had him 86’d from the Hard Rock, but Fatale disputes the accusation, saying that it “didn’t happen.” This is gearing up to be the greatest story ever told . . . sorry Jesus.
I can’t locate TINY KISS’s official website, but stumbled on this site, which contains a number of creepy-fantastic pictures and a bit of a biography and explanation of this tiny battle rock royale. This site paints Mr. Fatale as quite the miniature gangster, threatening Loomis if he didn’t get a cut of his money. “I’m the big guy in this Muchkinland,” Fatale is reported as saying. Please read on as this travel-sized soap opera epic spans conspiracy, intimidation, the courts and little people.
Who knew that there wasn’t enough room in Vegas for two miniature sized KISS tribute bands? If I were to manage an all-dwarf KISS tribute band, I would insist on calling them PECK. You can catch videos of both groups on You Tube. Weigh in for yourself on this gargantuan little battle.
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EU Critic’s Choice Awards
