by rick grant rickgrant01@comcast.net
When I first heard about this new reality show, I couldn’t believe it. The concept was the dumbest idea since Car 54 Where are You? “Have the CBS moguls gone stark raving mad?” I thought. Well, the idea of giving a badge and a gun to B-list celebrities was so outrageous, I had to watch it. I was immediately intrigued by the show. And yes, I was dying to see if these goofy celebs could actually get through the Police Academy–for real. The lineup of Erik Estrada, LaToya Jackson, Jack Osborne, Trish Stratus, and Jason ”Wee Man” Acuna sounded like a real police force’s worst nightmare. “La Toya Jackson packing heat!” Whoa! Now that is just wrong.
The first problem the producers faced was finding a police force to actually go along with this outrageous caper. The producers were offering money to support the force and many other perks to cooperate with the shoot. Muncie, Indiana–a town of 70,000 people-- was the only city to agree to the terms. The Muncie police reserved the right to train the recruits and wash out who they wanted. After their training, the celebrity cops would be sworn in as real police officers able to make arrests, and God forbid, defend themselves with deadly force. However, they would be closely supervised by veteran officers.
On the pilot episode, when the motley crew of clueless celebs was first briefed, the officer in charge laid down the law–they had to take this seriously and there would be no fooling around. Addressing Wee Man directly, the officer tells him, “If you Jackass in this outfit you’ll be gone.” The group looked somber as the reality of actually becoming cops entered their superficial consciousness. They all had that fearful look of “On my God, what have I done?”
Erik Estrada, who hasn’t done much since his schlocky 1977-1983 show CHiPs, paid the bills by acting in Mexican soap operas for years. So this was his biggest exposure on American TV since his series was cancelled. The idea of going from fake cop to real cop appealed to his ego.
Fresh out of long-term rehab, Jack Osbourne joined the cast as a righteous thing to do. He looks fit and trim. Surprisingly, he is the only cast member to have experience with firearms. And, he turned out to be a crack shot, placing a nice even pattern in the bulls eye of the target with his police issue Glock.
Of course, La Toya Jackson is the most unlikely recruit. She has led a sheltered life and is dependent on her big brothers for emotional support. She didn’t tell her brothers she was taking this gig, and when she called up Jermane and told him what she was doing, he went ballistic. But she held her ground. Wrestler and swimsuit model, Trish Stratus, seemed to be the most qualified person in the bunch. Trish is confident and physically fit.
Amazingly, Wee Man took to being a cop with natural talent and enthusiasm. Hey, he’s tiny but he can kick butt. He is ready for anything and he loves women. They love him, evidenced by women coming up to his squad car when it was parked. His partner didn’t look too happy that a little person recruit stole his glory.
After the initial novelty of these hapless has-been celebrities taking on an impossible mission wore off, I was riveted by their progress which was brave and noble. Everyone did well in all aspects of the training. La Toya was shockingly tough in the physical training which included self defense combat. When she cuffed Wee Man for practice he quipped, “I never imagined I’d ever be handcuffed by a Jackson.” There were brief funny ad libs, but the group took the training seriously.
La Toya had never shot a firearm in her life. So on her first attempt, she missed the target five times. But after some one-on-one instruction from a very patient instructor, she learned quickly and was emptying her clip into the bulls eye every time. The four-week police academy training was condensed into the first episode and the group was sworn in as police offers in a noisy ceremony. Then it was put-up-or-shut-up time. The recruits were assigned to officers to ride on real patrols, busting real criminals in the red zones of Muncie. It was like Celebrity Cops!
Wow, I was flabbergasted by how well this gaggle of B-listers did for their first day. By the time the first episode was filmed, the town knew the whole cast. They were the talk of the bars. When the dust cleared, becoming police officers must have been the only real thing these celebs had ever done in their entire life. Now, I’m hooked on this not-so-dumb show.
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