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seen. heard. noted. and quoted.
Cell Phone Tossing Shedevil

      Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault Tuesday for hitting her former maid, Ana Scolavino, with a cell phone over a missing pair of jeans. The supermodel called the incident “an accident,” claiming she was not aiming for the maid when she threw her phone. In exchange for her guilty plea, Campbell will have to pay Scolavino’s medical expenses of $363, attend an anger management class, and do five days of community service. If Naomi and Russell Crowe had a phone throwing contest, Naomi would win. She has more experience.



No Pain no Gain

      Some people just don’t know when to quit. Survivor and Amazing Race veterans Rob and Amber Mariano returned to compete on CBS’ The Amazing Race: All-Stars. The couple is making a profession out of reality shows.



Jacko’s Pill Bill

      Michael Jackson settled a lawsuit filed by a Beverly Hills pharmacy that claimed he racked up more than $100,000 in unpaid bills for prescription drugs over the last two years. Jackson’s spokeswoman Raymone Bain stating the bill has now been paid, and that the issue stemmed from problems with Jackson’s former business managers, against whom the entertainer filed suit last month. He must have taken most of the pills during his trial. Man he was zonked out.



Scribes Foresee End of Lost

      The producers of Lost announced Sunday that they have been in talks with ABC about setting an end date for the island series, now in its third season. While the series finale may not come anytime soon, having a date in mind will help the writers to decide how to wrap up the convoluted storyline, Executive Producer Carlton Cuse said. Lost returns to the schedule next month after a lengthy hiatus.



Friends rivals in Dirt

      Jennifer Aniston is guest-starring on the season finale of Courteney Cox Arquette’s Dirt, but rather than friends, the former costars will be rivals, with Aniston playing the editor of a magazine competing with Cox’s ruthless tabloid. Oh yeah, cat fight in Dirt’s office.



Bundle of Joy Forces Ashley to Resign

      Miss New Jersey USA Ashley Harder resigned her post because she is pregnant in violation of pageant rules, the Philadelphia Morning News reports. The 20-year-old beauty queen told the paper the baby is due this summer and that she plans to marry the father. Harder apparently choosing to step down before getting fired by Donald Trump. The question is: Who’s the papa?



Hynie gets Nada

      James Brown’s will, which excludes his partner Tomi Rae Hynie and their five-year-old son, was drawn up 10 months before the child’s birth and six months before Brown and Hynie were married, the Augusta Chronicle reports. Brown and Hynie’s marriage was later found to be invalid, as she was still married to another man at the time she wed the soul singer. This broad just can’t catch a break. Dang, now she’ll have to get a job.



Two Peas in An Overexposed Pod

      Britney Spears and Paris Hilton may have made some dubious choices during the past year, but chief among them, at least according to Mr. Blackwell, were their sartorial ones. The self-appointed first officer of the fashion police has deemed the partying pals the co-Worst Dressed Stars of 2006.In his 47th annual diss list, Blackwell called Spears and Hilton “two peas in an overexposed pod,” adding further insult to pentameter-induced injury by proclaiming them “style-free and fashion deprived...the ‘screamgirls’ have arrived!” How about sluts with no panties?



Another Munster Gone

      Once upon a time, Yvonne De Carlo was a dancer whose moves bewitched Howard Hughes. Then along came The Munsters. De Carlo, whose movie career in Hollywood’s glamorous 1940s and 1950s was overshadowed by her TV career as Lily Munster, died Monday of natural causes at the Motion Picture & Television Fund complex in Woodland Hills, California, it was learned Wednesday. She was 84.



Queer Eye Out

      Metrosexuals the world over are about to face a challenge heretofore unheard of: unsupervised zhuzhing.Five seasons after kicking off a male grooming revolution—and spurring untold amounts of hair gel sales—Queer Eye’s Fab Five are officially disbanding.

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