by rick grant rickgrant01@comcast.net
C PG-13 93 min
When an action film turns into a comedy, the joke is on the viewer. Yes, this paint-by-numbers pyrotechnic spectacular stars wrestler/rapper turned “actor” John Cena as John Triton a gung-ho Marine who is sent on a rescue mission to save a group of hostages before their captors can cut off their heads. He moved in with his strike team against direct orders to save the American soldiers’ lives. Consequently, he was thanked for his service and discharged rather than be dragged into a court marshal that would embarrass the Marine Corp because if Triton had obeyed orders, the soldiers would be dead.
Triton goes home to his wife Kate (Kelly Clarkson–Nip/Tuck) who is darn glad to see him and thankful he’s out of the Marines. But Kriton is a trained special ops soldier whose skills do not translate well into civilian life. To fill in his time, Kriton takes a boring job as a security guard. When an unruly visitor to the building presses his buttons, Triton reverts to his training, and beats the guy senseless and is fired. Kate is supportive and suggests they take vacation to get away and rekindle their relationship.
Meanwhile, a ruthless gang of jewel thieves have hit a high-end jewelry store using an inside man to gain access to the vault. The gang’s kingpin is Rome, (Robert Patrick–The Unit) a crazed killer who doesn’t mind shooting up police cars and killing cops. The gang gets away and while on the road they stop at a gas station. While there, the cops show up and are suspicious of Rome. Triton and his wife have stopped at the same station to get gas. When the violence erupts, Rome and company steal Triton’s SUV and kidnap his wife Kate. Now the chase is on, as Triton takes a patrol car and chases the gang.
Triton is like the Terminator–he will not stop until he rescues his wife. After a harrowing car chase, Triton is presumed dead by the gang. But wait, Triton is not easy to kill–he’s an ex-jarhead. The gang is now on foot in the swamps of South Carolina. Triton is on their trail tracking them using his special forces skills. Patrick and his gaggle of actors portray their bad guy roles tongue-in-cheek, like they realized this shoot was bollocks, and they wanted to bring at least some humor to the cheesy script.
Still, if viewers leave their brains at the box office, the movie does have value as a campy romp with a bunch of slumming actors. Clearly, Cena is trying to make the transition from big time wrestling to films like his colleague Wayne “The Rock” Johnson. But The Rock has more on-screen charisma than Cena, who is more in the wooden acting category of Steven Seagal rather than a serious actor. His scenes with Kelly Carlson as Kate are awkward, but she does what she can to put him at ease. He looks more comfortable holding an M-16 than her shapely body. But what the heck, this is an adrenalin pumping action vehicle that has almost no time for kissy-feely romance.
One can be assured that before too many frames roll by, there will be massive explosions happening, which seems to capture the imagination of action junkies. Fortunately, Cena is not given too many lines, but he can run like the wind and dispatch the bad guys with rapid fury. As if the scenario didn’t have enough bad guys with the killer jewel thieves.
This is a wish fulfillment fantasy for viewers who get vicarious thrills watching the action hero beat the bejesus out of the bad guys. And, these brazen murderous jewel thieves used no discretion to expose themselves at the scene, shoot up the area, and kill cops. Of course, they had better pray the cops get to them before Triton finds them. He leaves a trail of bodies for the cops to follow. All Rome’s efforts to kill Triton are thwarted by his remarkable physical and military skills. Every scene is packed with every bad guy stereotype imaginable. The momentum builds to the grand finale with bigger and more awesome explosions. In this action film, viewers get more bang for their buck.
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