by brenton crozier bdcrozier@gmail.com
It takes a lot of arrogance to give your football team a name like the “Houston Texans.” Who does this team really think they are, encompassing the breadth of an entire state with their handle? Nevertheless, it seems to be indicative of a larger lack of humility in the much-loved Lone Star State.
Texas is big, has a bitchin’ slogan (yeah you know, Don’t Mess with Texas), is the home of real cowboys, brags a multitude of native celebrities, and was born out of a ruckus history. The litany of icons is unending, from Dwight D. Eisenhower, Roy Orbison, and Howard Hughes to Willie Nelson, Richard Petty, and Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry. Concluding that Texas is top-drawer is only logical. But that is no reason for them to continue throwing it in our face.
I’m not the only one that is fed up with the condescension and continual one upping from our western rival. Jaguars fan Peter Zegaib and crew shared my antipathy. Peter and his wife Pam, spoke of their experience working in a Colorado ski resort where Texans came in droves and “took over.” Peter continued recalling his seemingly repressed memories saying “Take it from me, Texans can be arrogant.”
As a fellow Floridian, it was my job to make sure that my newly found confidants could back up their Sunshine State veneration. Playing devil’s advocate, I challenged the group to a state versus state fantasy league. I proposed a hypothetical draft of important and famous (often the 2 don’t correlate) Floridians and Texans.
For my first round draft pick, I took Buddy Holly and they countered with Lynyrd Skynard. I then took that comedian with the big ears Ross Perot. They pondered their pool and selected the Allman Brothers. Things were looking up for Florida, but I went big with Nolan Ryan. They staggered a bit, and offered up Lynard Skynyrd . . . again.
I realized that my new friends were at a loss, so I proudly offered up Florida natives Pat Boone, Janet Reno, Ben Vereen, and Chief Osceola. This along with Matt Jones’s affinity for dropping passes only seemed to make them feel a little gloomy.
Yeah ok, so Texas is great and their football team seems to have the Jaguar’s number, but we have plenty to be proud of. We’ve been around longer, house Disney World, and yes, can call Lynard Skynard hometown boys. Besides, did Good Times have a character named Texas? I don’t think so.
The Texas haughtiness transcends football, large cowboy hats, and epic military battles. They simply think they are better than us and yes, sent their football team to beat us 13 to 10. I’m here to tell my fellow Jaguar’s fans and Floridians alike, we have nothing to feel insignificant about. Seriously, what is Walker Texas Ranger all about?
So, next time you hear a Texan jawing about how great Texas is or how they made the Jaguars look bad not only once, but twice, remind them of the old Texas saying, you should never miss a good chance to shut up.
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