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seen. heard. noted. and quoted.
Poor Little Rich Girl Busted
      Charges will not be filed against Nicole Richie Tuesday, after she was arrested Monday on suspicion of DUI. A Feb. 7 hearing has been tentatively set in the case, assuming charges are eventually filed. “This is a difficult time for Nicole but she is prepared to accept whatever responsibility is appropriate,” Richie’s attorney, Howard Weitzman, said in a statement. Is this her idea of nutrition?


Don’t Mess with Evel
      Evel Knievel is suing Kanye West, claiming the rapper ripped off his signature look in the video for “Touch the Sky,” in which a red, white, and blue jumpsuit-clad West, using the handle “Evel Kanyevel,” attempts (and fails) to ride a rocket over a gorge, the Smoking Gun reports. Kayne is not fit to shine Evel’s shoes, much less wear his costume.


Self Importance Squared
      Leonardo DiCaprio faced off against himself in the Best Actor category at the 12th Annual Critics Choice Awards for his work in Blood Diamond and The Departed, marking the first time in the history of the awards that any actor has been doubly nominated. The awards are set to be handed out Jan. 11.


Suddenly Angelina Swooned
      In an interview in January’s Vogue, excerpted by USA Today, Angelina Jolie admitted that she began to fall for Brad Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. (Duh.) While filming, the stars “found this strange friendship and partnership that kind of just suddenly happened. I think a few months in I realized, God, I can’t wait to get to work,” Jolie said. Before she was struck with Bradmania she said to the media she would never steal another woman’s husband. Right, and before that Brad had expressed his undying devotion to Jennifer Aniston. Lying sacks of celebrity trash.


Royal Rock Show
      Prince William and Harry confirmed they will mark the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death with a pop concert at London’s Wembley Stadium on July 1. Artists scheduled to perform include Elton John, Duran Duran, Joss Stone, Pharrell Williams, and Bryan Ferry. In tribute to Diana’s love for theater and dance, Andrew Lloyd Webber will perform a medley of songs from his shows, and the English National Ballet will appear. What, the Pope is not attending?


Seven Days!–Time for A Binge
      “I haven’t had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I’m not even legal to, so why would I?” Lindsay Lohan said. Hey, the girl needs a f......drink.


Better Late than Never
      Jada Pinkett Smith donated $1 million to her high school alma mater, the Baltimore School for the Arts, in memory of her classmate Tupac Shakur, who was murdered in 1996. It took her ten years to memorialize Shakur?


Like a Rolling Stone
      Rolling Stone named Bob Dylan’s Modern Times the Best Album of 2006 and Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” the Best Single. Yeah, but Gnarls Barkley is not a household word.


Baby Interrupts Family Feud
      Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are expecting a baby boy, Spelling, who is six months pregnant, told People. As previously announced, the baby’s middle name will be Aaron in memory of her father. Mommy dearest will not be visiting the baby anytime soon.


Free Love
      A Los Angeles Superior Court judge dismissed three cases against Courtney Love–one for misdemeanor assault and two for drug possession—after finding she had successfully completed drug rehab. The ruling ended Love’s probation more than one year early. Maybe Love can stay out of trouble for at least a week.

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