People like Martha Stewart and Miss Manners say it’s a good idea to keep a few generic gifts socked away, just in case you’ve forgotten to get someone a gift. But really, if I’ve forgotten to buy a gift, what makes them think I’m going to remember where I’ve hidden all those emergency gifts I was supposed to buy in advance? What Martha and Miss Manners don’t know is that I’ve already wrapped most of those gifts, assigned them to people and have completely forgotten where I’ve stashed the others.
And so, at midnight on Christmas Eve the only gifts left are the gifts of desperation. You stalk your house, looking for picture frames you can take pictures out of and re-wrap. You go to the back of your closet and try to remember just who gave you the fondue set you never use. Did Aunt Sue give it to you? If she did you certainly can’t give it to her this Christmas. If you’re a woman, you start combing your closet for items like scarves, because they don’t have sizes. Again, you must try and remember if the scarf in question was ever a gift and you must try to recall if the potential recipient of the scarf has ever seen you wear it.
Here’s the thing, if you didn’t remember to buy them a gift, you’re certainly not going to remember if anything you own was something they gave you or something they’ll recognize as a used item. The next thing you know, you’ll be that story they tell about the worst gift they’ve ever gotten. It’s better not to have a gift at all. Tell them it’s been misplaced, which is kind of true, it’s just been misplaced on a store shelf, where you will eventually find it.
Maybe your situation is even worse than just one forgotten gift; maybe you haven’t had the time or inclination to get anything for most of the people on your list. Depending on how close you are to Christmas, there are a few place you can go.
America has a love/hate relationship with this warehouse of a store, but it tends to be the place where desperate gift shoppers materialize at 3 AM. Expect empty shelves in a lot of departments and last minute lines. Everybody knows that they’re open, so everyone goes. Be informed though, that Christmas Eve after 6PM and Christmas Day are the only times that your 24-hour Wal-Mart will be closed.
It helps to know where all the 24-hour drugstores are in your hour of need. Some places claim that they’re 24-hour stores, but come Christmas Day they hang a “closed for Christmas” sign on their door. Walgreens and CVS have quite a few 24-hour locations in and around Jacksonville. I’ve called each one to make sure that their doors will open during those crucial, down-to-the-wire moments. Unlike Wal-Mart, these places are compact enough that you won’t spend hours drifting aimlessly through the aisles, and these guys will be open all day on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Many gas stations tend to close up shop late Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day, but, once in a while, you’ll find a convenience store shining like a beacon in the dark. Can you get a viable present from a gas station? Of course you can, if you’ve walked into the right one. There are your standard items, like over-priced car air fresheners and cans of Vienna sausages but you can also find really strange stuff if you look behind the counter or at one of the glass displays. Many convenient stores have taken to selling items like Samurai swords and porcelain dolls. Unfortunately, most of the 24-hour convenience stores don’t tend to have those non-standard items. Some do sell gift cards to popular stores and nearly all of them sell phone cards.
I was making my Homemade Chocolate Peppermint Bark Candy again this year when I suddenly realized that you could get nearly all the ingredients from the Jiffy store. I cut the mint extract out of the recipe and simplified it. Just slowly melt a few bars of chocolate, stir in peppermints that have been crushed in the blender and pour the mix on to a cookie sheet that has been coved with wax paper. Don’t worry about amounts; as long as the chocolate still has some flow, you’re good. Put it in the fridge and in a few hours you’ll have homemade candy that you can break up. Get a few tiny brown paper bags from the Jiffy so you can package the candy and cover them with wrapping paper.
Whatever you end up doing for those gifts of desperation, don’t turn to your own closet. Use this handy guide to get you through, even if you need something at midnight on Christmas Eve. Here’s hoping there’s more on the shelves than a figurine of Santa with a Hawaiian shirt on.
5108 Norwood Ave, Jacksonville, FL 32208
6006 Beach Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32216
3505 University Blvd W, Jacksonville, FL 32217
3604 Blanding Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32210
866 Dunn Ave, Jacksonville, FL 32218
7221 Normandy Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32205
6005 Saint Augustine Rd, Jacksonville, FL 32217
5999 Normandy Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32205
1190 Dunn Ave, Jacksonville, FL 32218
4280 Southside Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32216
7790 Blanding Blvd, Jacksonville, FL 32244
414 Atlantic Blvd, Neptune Beach, FL 32266
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