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seen. heard. noted. and quoted.
Godfather Gone

      James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, a.k.a. the Hardest-Working Man in Show Business, and so much more, died Monday at an Atlanta hospital of heart failure. He was 73. Brown was hospitalized Sunday due to pneumonia but said then he was still determined to perform in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. He went out on Christmas Day! This proves God has soul.
Brown Tells Lawyer from The Other Side, “The Bitch Gets Nothing”

      Brown’s covivant, Tomi Rae Brown, told the Augusta Chronicle she has been denied access to the South Carolina home she and the musician shared with their five-year-old son after the gate was padlocked at the request of Brown’s lawyer and accountant. She said she does not own a deed to the home but has a legal right to live there. However, Brown’s attorney asserted the late musician was never legally married to Tomi Rae and she was locked out for legal reasons pertaining to the estate. Brown’s abuse of his significant others is well documented. I guess she’s not in the will either.


Jacko Travels to Mecca

      After 18 months of self-imposed exile, Michael Jackson arrived in Las Vegas with his three children over the weekend, where he will reportedly begin attempting to make a comeback per the Las Vegas Review-Journal. The reclusive entertainer may be developing a live show on the Strip. His show could be called “Jacko Does Janet on The Strip.”


More Jacko Crappo

      Michael Jackson filed suit Friday against his former accountants, Bernstein, Fox, Whitman, Goldman & Sloan, claiming they made unauthorized deals that cost the moonwalker $2.5 million a year. While Jacko was entertaining little boys at Nerverland, his accountants allegedly were stealing him blind.


More Superficial News from Jolie/Pitt

      Angelina Jolie spent Christmas in Costa Rica with refugees from Colombia as part of her work as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, the agency said. The actor was joined by Brad Pitt, who helped hand out toys to kids in the capital city of San José. Ahh, it warms one’s heart to know that Jolie/Pitt are such altruistic phony celebrities.


The Schwarz Cracked Up on The Slope

      Arnold Schwarzenegger required surgery to fix his snapped femur, which he broke over the weekend while skiing with his family in Sun Valley, Idaho. The California governor will reportedly be on crutches for weeks after screws are used to reattach his thighbone. Marie, fed up with his crap, could have pushed him into that tree. “Terminate this, fool,” she could have said.


Knight of Rock

      Queen Elizabeth II awarded Bono an honorary British knighthood “in recognition of his services to the music industry and for his humanitarian work,” the British embassy said. But don’t call him Sir Bono. Only British citizens can claim that title.


Rees Wants Second Chance Like Rees

      Dethroned Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees held a tear-soaked press conference Saturday to announce R-rated photos of her that surfaced on the Web were snapped years ago, before she was tiara’d. Rees appealed to Donald Trump to give her a second chance, à la reigning Miss USA Tara Conner, and allow Rees to compete in next year’s Miss USA contest. Ah, but can she do what Tara did to Donald as good as Tara did it to get that chance. Donald passed on her request. I didn’t think so either.


Trump’s Flag Flies Large

      Donald Trump filed a $10 million lawsuit last week...and it’s not against Rosie O’Donnell. No, the real estate kingpin is suing Palm Beach, Florida, for not letting him fly a 15-by-25-foot American flag over his Mar-a-Lago Club. Trump’s suit said a smaller flag would “look silly.” Kinda like his hair. “My flag has to be proportional to my ego,” Trump could have said.


Henner-Brown Union

      Marilu Henner married Michael Brown, a former college classmate who proposed to her from his hospital bed after undergoing surgery for cancer. The duo exchanged vows on Thursday, per the New York Times. Isn’t that nice.


Something Smells Like Wet Dog

      Macy’s pulled Sean John hooded jackets from its shelves and Websites after learning that the jackets weren’t made of faux fur but of a canine known as “raccoon dog.” In a statement, Sean “Diddy” Combs says, “I was completely unaware of the nature of this material” and that he has ceased production on the offending clothing line. Snoop Dogg could have offered to take over the line with the moniker, “Dogs on Dogg.”

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