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Paris Burned

      Paris Hilton filed a federal lawsuit Monday seeking to shut down the Website parisexposed.com, which promises access to personal photos, diaries, videos and other possessions belonging to the heiress—all for the low monthly fee of $39.97. The items found their way online after Hilton neglected to pay the rent on a L.A. storage locker where she had stashed her things when she was in between homes. Her suit alleges that defendants Nabil and Nabila Haniss paid $2,775 for the contents of the storage unit and sold the items for $10 million to Bardia Persa, who created the site. Oops! She was partying and forgot to play bills.



Police Sting

      Thirty years after first forming, the Sting-led ‘80s rock trio The Police are set to reunite and perform the opening number at the Grammy Awards on Feb. 11. Since Sting became a megastar without them, they must feel “privileged” to back him up again.



K-Fed Fry Cook

      Kevin Federline claimed he never meant to insult fast-food workers with his Super Bowl ad for Nationwide insurance, in which he plays a fry cook dreaming of stardom. A leading restaurant association called for the ad to be pulled last week, claiming it was demeaning to industry workers. But Federline insisted that he was only making a mockery of himself in the spot. Ah yes, the ad could be prophetic.



Armed and Canceled

      CBS canceled celebs-turned-law-enforcement reality series Armed & Famous after only four episodes due to abysmal ratings. Which is really surprising, considering all the elements for success were there: the show was set in Muncie, Indiana, it featured Jackass’ Wee Man, and it was on opposite American Idol on Wednesdays. Idol busted Muncie cops for ratings’ murder.



There She Is

      Aspiring Broadway star Lauren Nelson was crowned Miss America Monday night, making the second year in a row a beauty queen from Oklahoma has won the title. Nelson plans to promote protecting children online as her pet cause over the course of her year-long reign. What, she doesn’t want world peace!



Brandy to be Charged

      The California Highway Patrol recommending that Brandy be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter in a freeway crash that left another female motorist dead last month. The Los Angeles City Attorney’s office is currently reviewing the matter, officials said. If convicted, Brandy could face up to a year in prison and a fine of up to $1,000.



Osmond’s Dream Gig

      Donny Osmond signed on as the host of the upcoming ABC series, The Great American Dream Vote, featuring eight contestants who reveal a lifelong dream to a studio audience and explain why they think it should be fulfilled, per the Hollywood Reporter. The contestants then compete to remain in the running, until all but two finalists have been eliminated, at which point viewers vote from home on which dream should be made into a reality. Oh no, not another talent show.



Hasty Pudding goes to Stiller & Johansson

      Ben Stiller and Scarlett Johansson are slated to receive this year’s Hasty Pudding awards from a student drama group at Harvard University. The awards are given to actors who have made a “lasting and impressive contribution to the world of entertainment.” Johansson will receive her award on Feb. 15; Stiller will get his on Feb. 23.



Sweetheart Deal

      KISS partnered with comic book production company Platinum Studios to create a new comic book entertainment company called the KISS Comics Group, per the Hollywood Reporter.



Noa’s Tell-All Lopez Book Goes to Arbitration

      Jennifer Lopez’s first husband, Ojani Noa, was ordered to enter arbitration with the singer-actor over his plans to publish a tell-all book about their relationship, which claims, among other things, that Lopez had multiple affairs, including one with her current husband, Marc Anthony, while he was still married to someone else. Noa objected to the arbitration order, saying he wanted the benefit of a public trial in the case. Hey, was there anyone Lopez hadn’t slept with during her other marriages?



Recovered Journalist Back at Work

      Kimberly Dozier made her first visit to CBS News headquarters Monday since she was injured last May in Iraq in a car bombing that killed her crew. The correspondent stated that it was “overwhelming” to be back, according to cbsnews.com.

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